hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
