I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
