Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
