i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
