You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
