i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
