when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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