I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
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