I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
