we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
