and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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