My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
