you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
