So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
