Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
