I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
