omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
high people should be assigned attendants
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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