im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
