Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
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