that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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