Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
