I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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