I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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