And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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