i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
