Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
