it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
