You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
