Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
