the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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