how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
