Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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