Best friends brother. Beat that.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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