Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Is Oprah even human
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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