Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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