I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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