btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
