saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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