ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
