Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
