I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize