like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
