so explain again why im purple
no
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
