"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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