Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize