On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
