I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
It's shark week go big or go home
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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