is your mom at the bar?
hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
