fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Randomize
