drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
