wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
