Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
