Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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