I feel great
I just peed on a car
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
