that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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