He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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