I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Randomize
