it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
