I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Randomize
