Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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